Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a natural resource specialist who has a $140,000 household income and who spends some of her money this week on her wedding venue!

Occupation: Natural resource specialist
Industry: Government
Age: 35
Location: Willamette Valley, OR
Salary: $98,671
Household Income/Financial Setup: $140,000. My husband D. and I split house bills roughly according to our incomes, along with our three other household members. D. and I have a joint checking account for household expenses and one shared brokerage account, but otherwise have separate accounts. The house is under both our names. We hope to combine finances more over time.
Assets: House: worth around $615,000; retirement accounts (government Thrift Savings Plan and IRAs): $96,000; brokerage accounts and bonds: $80,900 in mine, with an additional $14,800 in shared; savings accounts: $8,600; checking accounts: currently $3,600 in mine, with an additional $5,700 in shared.
Debt: We owe $474,760 on the mortgage. D. has a few thousand in credit card debt.
Paycheck Amount (Biweekly): $1,811.48
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $1600 for me. In terms of our other housemates, it’s $825 for my husband and two of our housemates, and $500 for the other housemate.
Loan Payments: $3,482.93 on the mortgage.
Phone Bill: $26.65
Car Insurance: $67.88
Spotify: $16.99 for Spotify Duo for me and D.
Utilities: D. covers utilities from the shared house account.
Paycheck Deductions: These include retirement contributions to my pension ($166 biweekly) and Thrift Savings Plan ($567 biweekly), health insurance for me and D. ($114 biweekly), dental insurance for us ($25 biweekly), union dues ($32 biweekly), and FSA contributions ($58 biweekly). I’m a non-bargaining unit employee but still choose to support the union.
Life Insurance: $31.13 every three months.

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I grew up in a college town with a well-educated family and higher education was very much the norm. My undergraduate education was paid for mostly by a National Merit Scholarship, with help from my mom, who had a college savings account worth around $40,000 to help me cover tuition and living expenses. My mom also helped pay for my last year of undergrad after I took five years to graduate and my scholarship only covered four years. My master’s degree was fully funded, with a stipend of $22,500 a year and a tuition waiver, from a research assistantship. My PhD was fully funded with tuition waivers and varying stipends per year from a combination of fellowships, scholarships, and teaching or research assistantships. My first year on fellowships I made around $60,000, while my last year on teaching assistantships and scholarships was probably a little under $30,000. (If people get anything from this, I hope they understand that you shouldn’t pay out of pocket for an advanced degree in the sciences!)

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
Growing up, I knew that I had a college fund available and was generally encouraged to be thrifty. Otherwise I don’t think my family really discussed our financial situation or general financial literacy. In my early 20s my grandfather started to talk with all the grandkids more about investments, and my parents would also talk to me more about different ways to manage money, like putting it in a CD or brokerage account. I also started to make my own efforts to gain financial literacy on how to manage my money and make sure I was secure in the future.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
I baby sat in middle school and high school, and had a few brief high school jobs working at a bagel shop or a local grocery store. It was nice to have a bit of spending money that didn’t depend on my parents, and my parents encouraged me to get work experience.

Did you worry about money growing up?
No, I generally felt financially secure growing up, although during my undergraduate I was constantly stressed about money.

Do you worry about money now?
I worry about my job security but otherwise feel like my finances are in order.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
At 23 I got my first job out of college and no longer depended on my family for financial help at all. At this point I try to have savings readily available to cover emergencies or fund my regular expenses for a few months in case I lose my job. I also know that my family is there to help if needed.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Recently for my wedding I received $10,000 from my mom and $1,500 from my grandmother to help cover the wedding — D.’s family didn’t contribute financially. (A note about this: D. grew up a lot poorer than I did so I didn’t really expect much from his family in the way of wedding contributions. My mom said at one point, “You know, traditionally the groom’s family pays for the rehearsal dinner…”, but we never asked and D.’s parents never offered.) I also usually get around $5,000 into my brokerage account around Christmas time from my grandmother, and a couple hundred in cash from my mom. This is a big help in building up my investments.

Day One: Thursday

10 a.m. — It’s my bachelorette party day! My bridespeople are all from out of town and many of them had flight delays getting in, so I meet up with just two of the five for brunch. Fortunately it’s Juneteenth, so most of us have the day off work anyway. I had some coffee at home before heading out so I skip beverages, and just get a farro bowl with roasted veggies and a poached egg. My friends cover this for me.

11 a.m. — After brunch we stop by a Vietnamese place and grab some bahn mi to go. We all get the curry tofu bahn mi and I pay for my own. $10.33

12:30 p.m. — We stop by my house to grab the dog and go out to the arboretum to hike around for a while, and eventually eat our bahn mi at a picnic bench there. 

6:30 p.m. — We acquire more of the bridal party and drop the dog back at my house, then hang out and play games for a while at the Airbnb where most of my bridal party is staying. I bring over cherries from my yard for us to snack on, and buy Thai food for me, my five bridespeople, and my sister’s longtime friend who also joined for games. $146.96

7:30 p.m. — We change into our party outfits and go out! We hit a wine bar, two cocktail bars, and finally a dive bar with karaoke. My friends cover me for prosecco, a couple of cocktails, and a beer. I get a ride home around 1 a.m. after some drinks and karaoke. It was a great time with friends and I had fun showing my long-time friends around the town where I live now!

Daily Total: $157.29

Day Two: Friday

9:30 a.m. — It’s Friday but I’ve already planned to take the day off for wedding preparations. I’m a little hungover but I get up, take a little ibuprofen, and go make coffee. I go to have granola for breakfast, but we’re out of milk. My mom is planning to stop by in a bit so I ask her to pick up milk on her way over. She and my step-dad stop by, give me the milk for my granola, and pick some cherries from the three abundant cherry trees in our back yard.

12:30 p.m. — I start packing up all the things we need to take to the wedding venue tomorrow (e.g. table centerpieces and decor). My mom and my roommate’s girlfriend work on flower arrangements, and my husband D. gets home with the sound and lighting equipment we’ve rented, and my flower crown for tomorrow. (We were legally married last year so I already call him my husband — tomorrow is just the party!) These things are all already paid for, although my mom and friend make a few more trips to stores to get more flowers (they tell me not to worry about the cost). Once I have things mostly packed I head to the bridespeople Airbnb to show them my dress for tomorrow and get ready for the rehearsal. I forget to eat lunch at all.

5:30 p.m. — After running through the ceremony at the venue, I head to the distillery where we’re having our welcome event for wedding guests. We’ve reserved their pavilion for the evening and have bought a couple of appetizer trays for our guests, with meat, cheese, crackers and bread, and veggies with hummus and artichoke dip. I make sure to sample most of these things and get some lemonade that we also purchased for everyone. The venue set up their mobile bar outside for the event, and lets us use their bluetooth speaker to play music. D. is finishing up some errands getting kegs for tomorrow so he arrives late. Once he’s there, we split a veggie burger. My friend buys me a dark and stormy, and I buy a cider for D. At the end of the night, I pay the bill for all the appetizers and the tab for D. and me. We’ve already paid the fee to rent out the pavilion, and the mobile bar service met the required minimum where we don’t have to pay extra for it. $743.24

8:30 p.m. — I stop by the house of some friends to grab the cookies  that she’s made for the wedding, and pick some flowers from their garden to supplement wedding florals. I had previously given them money to cover flower seeds and cookie ingredients.

8:45 p.m. — I head to the Airbnb where my bridesmaid does my nails for tomorrow (a slightly sparkly light pink!). After that it’s time to go home and sleep to be ready for the big day!

Daily Total: $743.24

Day Three: Saturday

9 a.m. — I stop at an ATM and grab some cash: $40 just to carry with me and $200 to give to our bartender later as a tip for the night. She works with D. and offered to help us out for free, but we agreed we want to give her something for all the work. 

9:15 a.m. — I meet up with some of my bridespeople and we grab crêpes at the farmers’ market. I use some of my cash to buy a strawberry whipped cream crêpe with chocolate ganache and throw some money in the tip jar. I’ve already had coffee at home earlier so I skip beverages. I share the crêpe with my friends, who also have a rhubarb curd crêpe and a savory one with veggies, cheese, and egg. All are delicious, but I have to take off soon for my bridal hair appointment. Most of the bridespeople are doing their own hair and make up. $14

10 a.m. — I arrive at my hair appointment and meet up with my sister, who’s also getting her hair done. I’m wearing my hair down in curls, and adding a flower crown later. It’s a bit rainy out so they warn me to stay out of the rain as much as possible to make it last, and give me a little plastic cap to wear over it until the time comes. I pay and tip the stylist and go swing by the Airbnb. $94

11 a.m. — I put some hasty finishing touches on my bridal bodice and my bridespeople help me into it. It buttons up in the back, so it’s hard to put on by myself, and I figured it would be slightly easier to put it on before getting make up done. I’ve made a lot of the wedding outfits myself — I usually cite Frieda Lepold (a German dressmaker) as my main designer inspiration for colors for the wedding and the design of my dress. For bridesmaids I wanted something simple and easy to fit to different people so I did slip dresses. D. is a big fan of the Witcher games and he wanted a coat design inspired by Olgierd von Everich’s very cool coat from the games!

11:45 p.m. — I heat up some leftover pad thai from Thursday night and eat that in a rush on the way to my makeup appointment. It’s chilly out, so I’m comfortable in a zip-up hoody over my wedding bodice, and I successfully avoid getting pad thai on anything important!

12 p.m. — I get my bridal makeup done! I meant to bring my own fake lashes to use to save on cost a bit, but I forgot them at home. I consider sending someone to grab them for me since they aren’t put on until the end, but I decide it’s easier to just pay a little extra for the makeup artist to use the lashes that are available. The final look is beautiful and I head to the venue to finish getting ready! The venue is already looking good when I arrive, as friends and our coordinator have set up the tables we rented and the decor we brought. $90

2 p.m. — The photographer arrives! She starts with the groom’s party since I’m still waiting on my flower crown that got left at the house. We’ve sent my father-in-law to go retrieve it for me and it really helps complete the look. The weather is still pretty rainy so we take some photos indoors before moving outside once it’s calmed down a bit. The photographer has already been paid and everyone is looking great! When I see our day-of coordinator I give her a thank you card with a check for a $200 tip inside.

5:30 p.m. — After a beautiful ceremony officiated by a friend of ours, dinner is served. We have a taco bar with chicken and tofu options, and our day-of coordinator brings plates to me and D. as we chat with people. Toast are given, more photos are taken, and we cut our wedding cake, made by our roommate. Cookies are served for our guests, and the cake is enjoyed by me and D. We do the first dance, and the dance floor gets going. One of our roommates runs the Spotify playlist of dance music and uses the sound and light equipment we rented. Drinks are flowing — a combination of mead that D. brewed at home and cider that he got at a discount from the brewery where he works. I sip on it a bit throughout the night but make sure I’m sober to drive home later.

10 p.m. — We start the clean up. D. and I are assisted by friends and our day-of coordinator in taking down decorations, packing up the bar and the leftover food, and everything else that goes into clean up. I catch the bartender before she leaves and give her the $200 in cash and thank her for all her help. I head home, where my housemate and our friend unload my car full of wedding things while I go change into something more comfortable and crash for the night. $200

Daily Total: $398

Day Four: Sunday

9:30 a.m. — I get up in time to say goodbye to some friends (one who was staying with us and two who are getting a ride to the airport from her). I offer them leftover wedding cake and make myself some coffee, and I give them the house tour and say goodbye. Throughout the morning a few other friends stop by, and I give them leftover wedding cookies, cherries from the trees, and thank them for coming.

11 a.m. — My mom stops by with some breakfast pastries and blueberries. I have some of those and eventually we sit down and open wedding gifts. Some we’ve already opened: a nice set of pans from a childhood friend, and a KitchenAid stand mixer — I’d put it on the wedding registry as a group gift, but an old family friend single-handedly bought for us. We open a salad spinner, a yogurt maker, and a bread maker. Some other gifts are on their way from our online registry but haven’t arrived yet. We also received a bottle of wine, and cards with well-wishes and cash or checks in them. We get $100 in cash and $200 in checks from the cards. D.’s mom and her partner tell us that they would like to pay for a weekend away for the two of us as their wedding gift, and we should just let them know where and when we want to go. 

12:30 p.m. — The flow of visitors has ended for now, and D. and I take a nap. After the nap, I lounge in bed and initiate some Venmo transfers of contributions to our honeymoon fund, plus $19 that my sister sent me for Thai food. Today’s transfers total $359. I also start paying off some of my credit cards. On one of my new cards, I’ve earned a $200 bonus for spending enough in the first few months, and I apply that and another $21.55 in rewards to my balance and pay off the remaining balance (a good portion of it from the welcome event on Friday and other recent wedding expenses).

2:30 p.m. — I shower and then start gathering things and loading up my vehicle for the camping trip D. and I are going on for the next couple of nights. I booked us a campsite an hour and a half away for us to go decompress and have some time alone together after everything. Before we head out, my family stop by to say their goodbyes, and then we load up the dog and hit the road with me driving.

6 p.m. — D. and I stop for dinner on our way to camp. He wants to keep meals pretty simple after all the work we’ve put into the last few days, and I agree, so we buy two large pizzas to feed us for the next few days. I pay for the pizzas and he puts down cash for the tip. We make a couple quick stops for gas and at Walmart to grab headlamps and flashlights. D. pays and I drive us to camp. $63.75

8 p.m. — We get to camp to set up. The mosquitos are extremely bad and we’ve forgotten to bring any bug spray with us so I go beg the camp host for some. He’s kind enough to let us borrow some of his and it makes a big difference, although we’re still getting eaten a bit. We make a note to buy our own bug spray tomorrow in town, have a sip of mead for our honeymoon, and a small taste of the wedding gift wine, and call it an early night, as we’re both very tired from everything.

Daily Total: $63.75

Day Five: Monday

8:45 a.m. — I get up a bit before D., and the dog and I walk around the campground and explore a bit. Once he’s up we have some pizza for breakfast, I give the dog his breakfast, and then head into the nearest town 30 minutes away. (I haven’t been mentioning it but just assume I feed the dog twice a day every day.)

10 a.m. — D. buys us coffee (a dirty chai for me), and then we stop at Bi-Mart for some things. He waits with the dog while I run in and grab us bug spray, dry shampoo, lube, a collapsible dog bowl, mouthwash, a large container of trail mix, and some leather work gloves. Then we head out to explore the forest a bit. $58.21

1:30 p.m. — After a bit of hiking and exploring, we settle down at a park bench by the lake for pizza, wedding gift wine, and wedding cookies.

6 p.m. — After more exploring and a bit of a nap at camp, we go to the boat house on the lake for dinner. I get a fish sandwich and D. gets a steak sandwich. We get fries to share, and the dog gets a free pup cup. It’s a little pricey but the food is good — I pay for the food and D. covers the tip. We’re all happy and tired and head back to camp soon after. We make a fire at camp using downed wood in the area, but we soon retreat to our tent away from the mosquitoes. We have another sip of mead for our honeymoon and stay up for a while talking. $65

Daily Total: $123.21

Day Six: Tuesday

8:30 a.m. — More pizza for breakfast, and then we pack up camp early to escape the mosquitoes. We head into town for more coffee. I buy this time: a medium roast for him and a prickly pear latte for me. $14.10

9:45 a.m. — We look around a local shop a bit. D. was hoping for some every-day earrings to replace some that he lost during the wedding craziness, but we don’t see anything he likes for day to day. We do see some sets of wood flowers that you can assemble, and we’ve been enjoying putting together Lego flowers as a date-night activity. We buy a couple for us and one for our friend who helped us so much with wedding flowers. $15

11 a.m. — We head back to the lake and rent a canoe for an hour to paddle around. It’s a fun way to explore for a while. I pay. $50

12 p.m. — More pizza and wine! We finish off the wine and relax for a bit before packing up to head home.

6:30 p.m. — After napping and relaxing for a bit, we realize that we’re running late for a friend’s birthday dinner, so we hurry up and head out. I had already eaten some leftover pad thai before remembering our plans, but D. and I share a little sushi, get some sake for the table, and he also gets chicken gyoza. He pays and I put down cash for the tip. $15

7:30 p.m. — After dinner we go for ice cream with friends, and D. and I share a cup. I pay. $5.75

8:30 p.m. — Folks are still hanging out after ice cream so we move to a bar. I buy beers for me and D. We hang out for a while and then head home for the night. $18.88

10:30 p.m. — Once we get home, I look around online a bit. D. and I have been talking about honeymoon activities for when we do our bigger honeymoon in Scotland in August. We’re mostly keeping it on the cheaper side, planning to stay in hostels and live on sandwiches, but we’re not against splurging a little here and there on something that’s worth it. I realize that Scotland has some Michelin star restaurants, which is something we don’t really have access to in Oregon. I look around a bit and book us the seasonal lunch menu (more affordable than dinner time!) at Unalome in Glasgow for one of our days there. They take my card info but don’t charge it yet. Lunch will be £55 per person if we don’t include wine, with a £70 cancellation fee if we don’t show up or cancel with less than three days’ notice.

Daily Total: $118.73

Day Seven: Wednesday

8 a.m. — Finally back at work today! I have coffee and leftover wedding cake for breakfast. Most federal workers are back in the office now but I was hired as a remote worker and still haven’t received details on an office assignment after following up with the local office, so I’m still at home until someone gets around to telling me otherwise. It makes my mornings less stressful, not needing to get everything together to get out of the house. I sit down at my computer and start catching up on emails and tasks. My husband normally works 12-hour shifts Thursday to Sunday and every other Wednesday — this Wednesday he’s still off work, so I let him sleep. Later today he’ll help return some items to our wedding caterers and drop off a check for $1,658 for the remainder of what we owe them.

11 a.m. — I take a break to go walk the dog and eat some lunch. Lunch is leftover tofu and rice from our taco bar — still very tasty! Dog walking is also much easier when working from home. After lunch and a walk, I get back to work on projects. Most of our team is taking reassignments to roles that are less likely to get eliminated during restructuring, but we’re trying to wrap up projects while we can.

4:45 p.m. — After wrapping up work and sharing a few wedding photos with coworkers, I take another dog walk to wind down a bit. D. is turning leftover wedding taco bar food into burritos and I have part of one of those and some leftover salad for a quick dinner, and then it’s time for me to head out for a board meeting.

6 p.m. — I’ve been elected to a non-partisan position on a local governing board. My term doesn’t officially start until next month but I still go to the board meetings to be in the loop with what’s happening. Today it’s a small group, just me and four other board members, and there’s banana bread that one member has made for the group. I have some and settle in for the meeting.

7:30 p.m. — When I get home from the meeting, everyone at home is still a bit tired out and not feeling up to doing too much, so I take it easy for the evening. I check over my accounts and see that the wedding venue and our day-of coordinator have both cashed the checks I gave them ($2,900 and $200, respectively). I had made sure previously to transfer money into my checking account for these, out of the shared brokerage account my husband and I have. My phone bill has also been auto-paid from my account today. At some point we’ll order thank you cards for all the wedding gifts and all the help we received, and maybe we’ll do a little extra something for the folks who helped out the most, but for now that’s a task for another day. $3,100

Daily Total: $3,100

The Breakdown

Conclusion

“It was fun to look back and see how I spent the days before and after my wedding! There is a lot of uncertainty right now for federal employees and this week didn’t fully reflect that and the fact that my life and spending might change drastically if or when my work situation changes. However, this week did make me very appreciative of all the community that D. and I have supporting us. The time I’ve spent with friends, family, and my husband have all been extremely valuable to me and in that way I wouldn’t change a thing.”

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