Guest Idea: Learning from Captain Scoresby’s Ten-gallon Fir-Cask
In 1810, in the Greenland Sea, William Scoresby Jr., the captain of Resolute, who was… The post Guest Idea: Learning from Captain Scoresby’s Ten-gallon Fir-Cask appeared first on Earth911.
EcoTech
Madewell Just Dropped A Whole Season’s Worth Of Fall Outfit Formulas
Whether you’re reluctantly easing into back-to-school season or already dreaming up apple-picking outfits, Madewell’s new drop is packed with pieces to build your ideal fall (and transitional-weather!) wardrobe. The reader-favorite brand’s fall collection debuts new denim silhouettes (like my current favorite: the Balloon Jean) and […]
FASHION
Tracee Ellis Ross’ Solo Traveling Taught Me That I’m My Own Best Travel Partner
I just so happened to be taking my first solo trip at the same time as Tracee Ellis Ross’ new series Solo Traveling hit Roku. And it turned out to be divine timing. A weeklong trip to Oaxaca City and Mexico City had been on […]
FASHION
I Got A “Thickening” Haircut — & I’ve Never Loved My Fine Hair More
Thick, luscious lengths are not something I’ve been blessed with. Instead, my natural hair is fine, poker-straight and often falls flat. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried every mousse, volumizing mist, curling iron, and dry shampoo to give a bit of height to my roots, […]
FASHION
Thick, luscious lengths are not something I’ve been blessed with. Instead, my natural hair is fine, poker-straight and often falls flat. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve tried every mousse, volumizing mist, curling iron, and dry shampoo to give a bit of height to my roots, but my hair doesn’t play ball.
While I love its silky-soft texture, it struggles to hold a curl — my carefully done Dyson Airwrap curls fall out within minutes — so much so that I often resort to the highest heat settings on my curling iron and finish with an unhealthy amount of hairspray. I’ve learnt to strategically pose in pictures with all my hair brought in front of my neck to give the illusion of a full-bodied blowdry. The back of my hair is not my business.
For this reason, every time I visit my hairdresser, I sheepishly explain why my strands are fried. She trims away all of my split ends, and the cycle begins again. Dry shampoo makes a daily appearance in my routine to provide as much root lift as possible, so my hair often feels dry and looks matte, rather than the super bouncy, glossy pictures I have saved in my Instagram hair inspiration folder. But one thing I haven’t considered until now is how the right haircut could be the solution to adding more oomph to my hair. That’s until I discovered the thickening haircut, dreamt up by hairstylist Scott Ade — and the man behind my new look.
What is the thickening haircut?
Ade — based at Larry King salon in London — created the thickening haircut in 2016 with one goal: to create the illusion of fuller hair, particularly for those with fine or thinning tresses. Inspired by his wife’s fine hair and the lack of reference images of celebrities and models available to women with similar hair types, he developed a textured, layered style that’s a modern update to the 1970s shag — and has since invaded salons worldwide.
“I started doing these styles that are a bit more shaggy, with short layers around the front because that’s often the part of fine hair that’s the weakest,” Ade told me, explaining his technique. “The idea was to take those parts and cut them shorter, basically cutting them before they become weak,” and eventually break off.
I couldn’t wait to sit in Ade’s chair. Since my hair was long and all one length, his creation involved cutting short, thick, face-framing layers around my face, with diagonal layers — rather than straight ones — around the back of the head to lend dimension. He then cut what he calls ‘invisible layers’, by sectioning the top layer of my hair and skimming down the middle lengths underneath. This, Ade told me, would lend the appearance of thicker, fuller hair with lots of mussed-up texture.
Lastly, Ade decided to cut face-framing layers by making my bangs thicker using the feathering method. Now, it sweeps effortlessly across the tops of my cheeks. It’s a very ‘70s look, with shaggy layers and textured, tousled waves.
Ade explained how he then tends to slice layers through the front and the sides to encourage texture, width, and a fuller-looking head of hair. Essentially, achieving volume upwards is impossible, he says, so he adds volume widthways, which gives that full-bodied look, especially around the front of the face.
What’s it like to get a thickening haircut?
Admittedly, while I gave Ade full creative control to snip away, I nervously sipped my coffee as he began chopping off inches, doing my best to trust the process. “If you’ve got fine hair, people are sometimes scared when you start slicing into it to take weight off the ends,” he explained. “But what you’re doing is building up these shorter pieces, which act like internal scaffolding.”
Amazingly, he created my new look without any heated styling tools, just a Dyson Professional blowdryer and a brush. (And two decades of skills, of course). Once he’d finished cutting in wider bangs with shorter front layers and the invisible layers at the back of my head, he rough-dried my hair, had me flip my hair upside down, and spritzed the Pureology Style + Protect Instant Levitation Volume Mist, $32, through my roots.
When finished, my hair looked fuller, thicker, and, dare I say, voluminous. But it’s not weighed down with product or sticky with hairspray like before. Instead, it feels soft and natural, and I walked out of the salon feeling confident that I could recreate the final look at home.
What’s the thickening haircut like IRL?
You might imagine shorter, choppier layers would be difficult to style, but it’s quite the opposite. I’ve followed Ade’s steps: rough-drying my hair, flipping it upside down, spritzing a texturizing mist through the mid-lengths and ends, then using a large round brush to smooth big sections. I find I’m left with a tousled, effortless wave rather than tightly-wound curls that end up limp and lifeless like before.
I love how low-maintenance and instantly transformational this cut is with all the practicality I need from my hair — including being able to throw it up in a claw clip when it’s hot or I’m running late. I even have enough length on my bangs to tuck them behind my ears, but best of all, I’m using less heat than ever when styling it, simply relying on my blowdryer and a decent brush. (My go-to is the Moroccanoil Ceramic Round Brush 35mm, $30.) Honestly, I suspect the thickening haircut will leave me with healthier strands in the long run.
How do you style a thickening haircut at home?
It’s a regular occurrence for me to leave a salon loving a new ‘do, then inevitably feel frustrated trying to achieve the same effect at home. I just don’t have the skills or patience for a smooth, sleek blowdry with different brushes, clips, and pin curls. However, just as Ade promised, his thickening cut is very low-maintenance. I wash my hair every couple of days with Davines Dede Shampoo, $37, and rough-dry it upside down with my own Dyson Airwrap, $599, using the blowdryer attachment. Once dry, I brush out any knots with a Tangle Teezer The Ultimate Detangler, $16.99, which is the only hairbrush that can glide through clumps of wet hair without dragging.
When it comes to styling, Ade recommends a less-is-more approach. He advises that a common mistake that people with fine hair make is overloading it with product, which ends up weighing it down rather than imparting the volume you’re seeking. To add long-lasting texture to my naturally sleek strands, my go-to on wet hair is a volumizing hairstyling spray. Try RŌZ Root Lift Volumizing Hair Styling Spray, $42. I spritz this liberally and blow-dry it into my hair to make it soft but tousled. When I do end up reaching for my curling iron, it makes a big difference to how long curls last.
If I don’t have time to wash my hair, I always reach for the Davines This is a Dry Texturizing Finishing Spray, $44. Not only does this smell incredible, but it affords me that effortless textured effect Ade created with his hands. I like to use it in place of hairspray as it holds any style I’ve created really well. When I’m between washes, dry shampoo is a staple — both before and after my thickening haircut. Lately, I’ve been reaching for JVN The Essential Dry Shampoo, $28. It’s more expensive than I’d like, but the clear mist leaves no white cast or residue, and transforms three-day-old hair from greasy to fresh without water.
Lastly, Ade recommends a top-up cut to his creation every three months, and given how well it turned out for me — both in the salon and beyond — I’ll certainly stick to it for fuller, thicker-looking hair.
This story was originally published on Refinery29 UK.
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The Best Haircuts From Copenhagen Fashion Week
Dating Is So Bleak, Even The Anxious Girlies Are Becoming Avoidant
Are you anxious, avoidant or secure? What’s rarely discussed is whether people can switch from one camp to another. People wear their “anxious” labels as if they’re fixed for good, but that isn’t necessarily so. Within the bleak dating scene today — 1.4million people left […]
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Are you anxious, avoidant or secure? What’s rarely discussed is whether people can switch from one camp to another. People wear their “anxious” labels as if they’re fixed for good, but that isn’t necessarily so. Within the bleak dating scene today — 1.4million people left dating apps in 2024, and 78% of people feel exhausted by apps — people who previously saw themselves as anxious are now identifying as avoidant, and we’re seeing people candidly share this on TikTok. Dating disappointments have hardened them.
If you follow pop psychology, you’ll know these terms as part of attachment theory. It’s a simple, if reductive idea, on how people “attach” to partners — do they do it anxiously fearing abandonment, do they avoid connection as a way to self-protect, or are they well balanced and secure. It’s missing some nuance, but it helps people explain or understand their connection to people a little better.
Charlotte (surname withheld), 35, is one of these people who feel they switched from an anxious to avoidant dating style. “I have been in relationships previously that did not make me feel secure, and led to an anxious attachment style,” she says. “In the last few years, I have been much more avoidant.” She’s since avoided dating men all together and de-centred romantic relationships. Charlotte decided that being alone was better for her wellbeing after noticing this change in herself. Now, she’s started to date again, but she wants to move into a secure attachment style. “Counselling this last year has really changed things for me,” she adds.
The shift in anxious people is one of pain avoidance — there’s only so many times an anxious person can date a non-secure partner without it impacting how they date. “It’s a natural reaction to want to avoid anything that has been a source of pain to us,” says Dee Johnson, psychotherapist at Priory Hospital, Chelmsford. “Fear is a natural and necessary protection response, but it can become all-consuming.” Signs that someone is going from one attachment style to another could include suddenly becoming cold or suddenly presenting as clingy and controlling, Johnson says. “This emotive reactive roller coaster is an indicator of pain, fear, insecurity, grief, hurt and a sense of feeling lost and unsure of identity and self worth.”
People might think that becoming avoidant is “safer”, but it’s actually just another way of self-sabotaging. On TikTok, people have even been making light of switching to avoidance. One person made a video miming cuffs coming off them, crediting that so-called freedom with the anxious to avoidant switch. “Free but at what cost,” reads one of the top comments. Others post videos smiling to the camera, seemingly celebrating. “While an understandable and natural reaction,” Johnson says, “over time, it will cut us off from good stuff and possibly turn our behaviours more dark, suspicious, and paranoid that will leak out into all relationships.” Johnson warns the result of this might look like anxiety, low moods and isolation. “The sad reality is that we are then still giving power to someone from our past that really hurt and damaged us,” she adds.
Some people might have even swung this way without fully realizing it. Liz Kelly, therapist and author of This Book Is Cheaper Than Therapy, says it’s important to reflect on how your past is impacting you in the present. “You don’t want to evaluate new partners through the lens of previous mistreatment,” Kelly advises. “Entering a new relationship is a highly vulnerable time, even if you have a secure attachment style. You are figuring out the other person’s character, values, and communication patterns, and assessing whether they are a good fit for you and trustworthy.” And so, dating anyone requires sitting with some discomfort of the unknown.
How To Move Into Secure Attachment
This is no one-size-fits-all, and deep work through therapy or counselling might be needed for personal issues. However, Johnson says there are steps you can begin to take on your own. “A secure style is a place where you will want to embrace and value a relationship but not at any cost to your own identity, values, individuality, and self-respect,” Johnson says. “That can be a lot easier said than done depending on what your life experiences have been, where your self-confidence is, and how hurt you have been. You might start with: working on having boundaries, recognizing red flags, learning assertiveness, ensuring you vocalize your needs and desires, and understanding that safe relationships have healthy compromise.” This all takes time, Johnson adds, and involves learning more about yourself, exploring where your self-worth is, and what you understand a healthy relationship to be.
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A Week In Brooklyn On A $140,000 Joint Income
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.Today: a statistical programmer who has a $140,000 joint income and […]
FASHIONWelcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.
Today: a statistical programmer who has a $140,000 joint income and who spends some of her money this week on a bench from Facebook Marketplace (it was a bit of an ordeal, but it looks great!).
Occupation: Statistical programmer
Industry: Pharmaceuticals
Age: 27
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Salary: $92,000
Joint Income/Financial Setup: My wife H. works several part-time jobs and together, our joint income is ~$140,000 (her income varies month to month). We split our rent adjusted to our respective incomes and have a joint checking account that has money from our tax return, although it is dwindling. We use the joint checking account only for groceries, shared meals, and the laundromat. H. Venmos me monthly for her half of our health insurance and utilities. (When H. moved into my old apartment a while back, we had a big discussion about splitting our expenses adjusted to our incomes. At the time, she had a very hard time looking for employment with the visa she was on, and her finances were depleted. I hated seeing her struggle and wanted to help out in any way I could, so we decided it was only fair for me to pay more in rent until she could find a job and build a safety net. It is not something I was used to, and I had only lived with roommates prior. It was a great lesson in learning how to build an equitable relationship. Now, several years later, she is set to teach at a local school in the fall and we will eventually split our rent 50/50.)
Assets: Checking account: $627.70; HYSA $9,280.93; joint checking account $184.57; family brokerage account $57,389.29; personal brokerage account $11,717.23; Roth IRA $7,399.39; 401(k) $46,739.39.
Debt: $0
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $2,279.22
Pronouns: She/her; my wife H.’s pronouns are she/they.
Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: Our rent is $2,150 for a two-bed, one-bath. As mentioned above, H. and I split our rent based on income, so I pay $1,450 and she pays $700. H. will be starting a full-time teaching job in the fall and once she feels comfortable financially, we will split the rent in half.
Loan Payments: $0
Gas: $11.50
Electric: $39
Phone: $0 (I am on my family’s plan).
Internet: $17.50
iCloud Storage: $2.99
Netflix: $17.99 (I get HBO Max from my parents and access to Hulu and Paramount+ from friends).
Spotify: $11.99
Rock Climbing Membership: $135
Personal Training: ~$500 (I pay $1,300 for 10 weeks).
MTA OMNY: $30
Brokerage Account: $300
Roth IRA: $200
HYSA: $700
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Absolutely. Both of my parents attended graduate school, and it was expected that I would go to a four-year college. I was very fortunate that I had the resources growing up to receive a partial scholarship to a private university and graduate school, and to have my parents pay for the tuition. I am Deaf so I qualified for my state’s continuing education services program and received free housing for my four years at undergrad. When I was in grad school, I worked a research job and a teaching job to pay my rent, although my parents did help me out from time to time.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
I learned how to write a check, and the importance of saving money. My parents both work in finance and always stressed the importance of not spending above your means, buying the things that are on sale instead, and paying off your credit card in full every month. I did not know how much my parents made, but I knew we were comfortable, and I knew every dollar I was gifted for holidays and birthdays was going into my savings account for when I was older. Now that I am older and they are nearing retirement, I appreciate their perspective on how to invest my money, how much to put into savings, and how much to save for a house in the future.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was the summer before I attended college, and I was a camp counselor at my former sleepaway camp. I mainly got the job as a way to work with camp friends and to get some spending money before going to college.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I was privileged enough not to worry about money, but I was aware of it. I lived in a diverse school district and could see the stark disparities in income between my peers. My family had a nice house in a wealthy neighborhood, went out to eat, went on vacations, etc. I did have friends that did not have these luxuries. I also have cochlear implants and received extensive speech therapy to fit into the hearing world. As I got older, I realized that many Deaf/hard of hearing people, if they wanted it, are not able to receive that.
Do you worry about money now?
I wouldn’t say I worry about it, but I do think about it all the time. My wife H. came from a very different financial background and came to the US from her home country a few years ago looking for job prospects. When no one would hire her because of her short-term visa and we started the green card process, it got stressful. Money, or the lack thereof, became a topic of conversation everyday as we worried about where they would live, what to eat, etc. But now, over a year later, they have the green card and are set to start a full-time teaching job. We have discussed trying not to let lifestyle creep transform our spending, and we want to always have money in savings to fly to and from her home country, so saving more than usual is needed.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Honestly, I am still not fully financially independent. My mom transfers me $1,000 at the end of every month. My parents pay for my rideshares at night if I need it for my safety (Deaf girl alone at night in the big city scares them, I think), and they pay for any cochlear implant/audiology costs that insurance doesn’t pay for. I have discussed with them that I am financially stable and do not need the money, but I think it gives them a peace of mind. They have stressed that I do not owe them anything and they just want to help.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents opened a brokerage account for me when I was 13 and put my bat mitzvah money (~$15,000) in there. They also chipped in some of their own funds throughout the years. Additionally, my grandfather died last year and left me $25,000, which my father also added to the account. I am planning on using the money in this account for a down payment on a house.
Day One: Tuesday
9 a.m. — I wake up, feed my cat, and log onto work for the day. I make a breakfast of a fried egg with avocado toast and get on a call with my psychiatrist. I will reimburse the cost of my visit with my HSA. $150 (Expensed)
10 a.m. — I take the subway into the city for work. Because I am Deaf, I qualify for reduced fare. I use a reduced-fare OMNY card provided by the MTA and have it set to auto-load $30 whenever my balance goes below $5. It took about four months to apply, but it was so worth it. $1.45
12:30 p.m. — The office is swarming with new interns. I am mentoring an intern this summer, and we meet over free pizza provided by the company.
3 p.m. — It’s a slow day at work. It has stopped raining, and I want to go outside. I decide to hop on the train to the Lower East Side to pick up a candle and finish the workday in a coffee shop. Two months back, I got this frankincense and myrrh candle from a bookstore that H. and I loved, but I accidentally threw out the jar. I contacted the bookstore asking for the candle company name and they replied that they had one left in stock, and that they would hold onto it for me. While I would usually just order it online, I felt beholden to go pick it up from these very lovely people. $1.45
3:15 p.m. — I see a thrift store on my walk and step in. I’ve been on the search for more gender-affirming clothes — more boxy and gender-neutral pieces. Also, since I rock climb and do personal training, my body proportions have been changing, with new muscly arms and shoulders. It’s nice to feel so strong, but annoying to have tops that are too tight around my arms! I buy a pair of jeans that don’t hug my hips too much. They’re a little long but since I am 5’1, most clothes are. I think one of H.’s friends can hem them for me. $15.53
3:30 p.m. — I pass by a bakery that I heard on TikTok has great chocolate chip cookies. They have run out of chocolate chip when I step inside, so I get a kitchen sink cookie. It tastes fine (i.e. it did not live up to the hype, but also maybe because I got the wrong type of cookie). $4.36
4 p.m. — I pick up the candle from the bookstore ($17.42) and head to a nearby coffee shop for a chai latte ($8.67). I was hoping to finish the rest of the workday in this coffee shop but there are no tables. Oh well, I already bought this chai so it’s too late. I balance my laptop on my knees for the last hour of work. $26.09
5:30 p.m. — Done with work! I have an hour to kill before I meet with a friend to do volunteer work together. We’re going to help count board votes for a non-profit. Instead of taking the subway, I decide to do a leisurely 45-minute walk.
6:15 p.m. — I arrive at the non-profit with my friend and the people there offer us tamales, rice and beans, salad, and mango juice.
8:30 p.m. — The election and vote counting is done! I love democracy! I take the subway back home. $1.45
9 p.m. — I get home, shower, and snack on Doritos while watching TV. H. is working late at their grocery store job tonight and I miss them. They get home around 11:30 p.m. and cuddle me while I am half asleep.
Daily Total: $50.33
Day Two: Wednesday
8 a.m. — I wake up, feed my cat, and log in for the day. I am working from home today to spend as much time as I can with H. before they leave tomorrow for their home country. She will be visiting loved ones for three weeks.
9 a.m. — I deliver a big submission for work. Time for breakfast. I make myself avocado toast topped with a fried egg and sriracha. H. is still sleeping since they worked late last night.
10:45 a.m. — H. goes to see friends while I walk to a nearby grocery store to get chai concentrate and oat milk. I start off every morning with a chai latte and H. with coffee, so we go through oat milk pretty fast. At the grocery store, I buy three containers of Tazo chai concentrate, a gallon of oat milk, and a Luna bar to snack on later. $29.85
11 a.m. — I put the groceries away and check my work computer. No meetings until later. I am very lucky with how flexible my job is. Most of the time, I am waiting for programming requests to come in but with the current administration, things seem to be in a standstill. I hop on the subway to pick up a bench from someone on Facebook Marketplace. H. and I have been redecorating the apartment, and a bench would be perfect for the space below our TV. I eat my Luna bar on the train and listen to the Heavyweight podcast. $1.45
12 p.m. — I arrive and wait for the person to bring down the bench. While waiting, I contact Cochlear since my insurance still won’t approve my cochlear implant upgrade. Insurance is unbelievably annoying. I make an ENT appointment on Zocdoc so I can get a letter of medical necessity from them.
12:30 p.m. — The FB Marketplace person never responds. Ugh. I’m grumpy now. I look at Ubers home, but they are over $50. I head to the subway ($1.45), but stop for water first at a Dunkin ($2.69). $4.14
1 p.m. — While on the train, the FB Marketplace person gets back to me with many apologies (I think she just forgot and was in a work meeting). They offer to get me an Uber courier for my troubles. I venmo them $100 for the bench. $100
1:15 p.m. — I arrive home after a train ride that took way too long. I heat up some Trader Joe’s gyoza for lunch and make a peanut sauce and cucumber salad to go along with it. The bench arrives via Uber courier and after carrying it up the stairs, it looks great in the apartment!
5:30 p.m. — H. is home! After talking for a bit, I go on a walk and talk to my parents on the phone. When I get home, I buy three New York Liberty tickets for me, H., and my dad for Father’s Day. He has been talking about wanting to go to a game. H. will pay me back later for their portion of the ticket. $119.34
7 p.m. — I start on dinner while H. talks to their mom on FaceTime. I do most of the cooking, but H. does nearly all the grocery shopping (they work at a grocery store). Since H. is leaving for the airport tomorrow and I am heading to Montana for a vacation, I try to clean out the fridge as much as I can. Tonight for dinner is miso salmon with white rice, cucumbers, scallions, and quick-pickled carrots. H. and I hang out at home together for the rest of the night.
Daily Total: $254.78
Day Three: Thursday
8 a.m. — Usual morning routine. I am WFH again today. I feed my cat, make myself a chai, and work for a bit.
9:30 a.m. — H. has a friend over for a Spanish lesson over Zoom. They grab bagels for the three of us for breakfast.
12 p.m. — My UPS order for my MacBook arrives! I paid $1,338.07 for an eBay-refurbished 2023 MacBook Pro. It looks to be in great condition and I’m very happy. I set up my old PC and the new MacBook for file migration.
12:30 p.m. — H., our friend, and I get Middle Eastern food at a restaurant near us. I get a falafel platter with plenty of leftovers for tomorrow. I put down my card and H. and our friend venmo me. $18.51
3:30 p.m. — I am supposed to have personal training later in Manhattan, but I realize I’ll be late to a film screening later if I go. Plus, I want to spend more time with H. before she heads to the airport. I text my trainer and because this is my first time cancelling, she doesn’t charge me. I love personal training and appreciate the motivation it gives me to work out and take care of myself, but I wonder if the cost is worth it. (Update: since writing this diary, I signed up for another 10 sessions. I think I am going to keep it for now, especially since my trainer is great to work with, and it’s fun to yap with her. The downside is that it is a bit out of the way from my office and apartment, but I keep thinking about the importance of strength training, and I am enjoying how I am feeling, so I don’t think I will be stopping anytime soon.)
5 p.m. — I finish up work and say goodbye to H., who is heading to the airport. I am bummed. I take the subway into the city to see a Tribeca film screening of Marlee Matlin: Not Alone Anymore with a fellow Deaf friend. I got tickets ($28 each) about a month ago. $1.45
5:45 p.m. — There is a food market happening in the area and I can’t resist. I grab an arepa because I don’t know what the food situation will be in this theatre. $13.06
6:15 p.m. — I meet my friend at the theatre and there’s a stocked concession stand. That arepa was mediocre and I’m still hungry. We get popcorn and candy to share. $11.50
8 p.m. — The movie is over, and it was wonderful! Marlee Matlin is such an icon. I take the subway home. $1.45
9 p.m. — I arrive home and call H. while they’re waiting for their flight. After that, I play around with my new MacBook. I download some apps, backup my photos, and play Cascadia for the rest of the night. It’s so quiet here without H. and I miss them.
Daily Total: $45.97
Day Four: Friday
8 a.m. — Happy Friday! I stayed up too late last night playing Cascadia. From the looks of it, it’s a slow work day. I’m not going to make the commute to the office. I also need to get a birthday card for my friend’s party tonight, a card for my brother’s birthday tomorrow, and a Father’s Day card. I have some Cheerios and a chai for breakfast.
11:30 a.m. — I walk to a nearby art store and buy three cards. I then go to my local library to print out the receipt for the NY Liberty tickets to put in the Father’s Day card (I already had money on my library card so didn’t need to pay — I think normally it’s 20 cents per page for black and white printing). I return home and heat up the leftover falafel for lunch. $18.51
4 p.m. — I log off work (my job has Summer Fridays) and take a long nap. After waking up at 6 p.m., writing a birthday card, and talking to H. on FaceTime, I take the subway into the city for my friend’s birthday party. The birthday party is at Margaritaville. $1.45
8:30 p.m. — Man, Margaritaville is so overstimulating. A Deaf person’s nightmare. I get one strawberry margarita and a very bad pasta dish but hey, the vibes are fun otherwise — and I can see my friend is having a good time. After tax and tip for 14 people, I venmo my friend $65. I have money in my Venmo balance, so it feels free. $65
12 a.m. — After the rooftop bar closes at 12:15 a.m., it’s time to head home. I take the subway and head to bed. $1.45
Daily Total: $86.41
Day Five: Friday
10 a.m. — I wake up and make myself some toast with a fried egg. I play Cascadia on my laptop for the next few hours.
2 p.m. — I quickly pack and head out to my parents’ place for the weekend to celebrate both my brother’s birthday and Father’s Day. I buy round-trip commuter rail tickets. $17.50
3 p.m. — I buy a bag of Sun Chips at the train station to snack on. $1.80
6 p.m. — The family and I go out to dinner for my brother’s birthday. I get crab-stuffed shrimp for dinner and split a salad with my mom. My parents pay for the dinner.
10 p.m. – We head home and I call H. before going to bed.
Daily Total: $19.30
Day Six: Saturday
10 a.m. — I wake up and shower at my parents’ house. Today, we are getting lunch for Father’s Day and then I need to head back to Brooklyn and get ready to fly to Montana tomorrow. I gift my dad the Liberty tickets and he seems happy!
12 p.m. — My parents, brother, and I get lunch for Father’s Day. The rain holds up and we get to sit outside. Mom pays for the lunch.
2 p.m. — I take the train back to Brooklyn. When I get home, I realize I don’t have enough underwear for my trip. I head to the laundromat and use my prepaid laundry card. $1.45
8 p.m. — I am having an allergic reaction to something. I am all swollen, itchy, and have broken out in hives. I’m not comfortable but am reluctant to get Benadryl for fear of sleeping through my alarm. I need to get up at 3:30 a.m. to head to the airport. I go to the deli near me and get a Hershey bar. I sit on my couch and watch The Beautician and the Beast for free on Pluto TV. For those of you looking for a silly 90’s movie with Fran Drescher, it’s perfect. $1.81
10 p.m. — OK, these allergies are getting worse. I run back to the deli and get a small pack of Benadryl. I quickly get drowsy and doze off. $1.55
Daily Total: $4.81
Day Seven: Sunday
3:30 a.m. — God, I am tired. The Benadryl is still in my system. But I am grateful I didn’t sleep through my alarm and miss this flight. I call a Lyft to the airport, which is subsidized by my parents.
4:30 a.m. — Through security! Now time to get extremely overpriced food. I get a water bottle ($5.02), a chocolate croissant, and a fruit bar ($13.69). I have a layover in Chicago, and I’ll get actual breakfast there later. $18.71
8 a.m. — Landed in Chicago! When I deboard, I see the airline has figured out I am Deaf and brought me a wheelchair. Typical Deaf experience. I feel so much second-hand embarrassment from it that I just walk right past them. Can someone who works for an airline explain how and why this happens? After pretending I don’t exist, I walk to McDonald’s and get an Egg McMuffin with hash browns and orange juice. I scarf down my breakfast and catch the next flight to Missoula. $13.15
1:30 p.m. — Hello from Montana! I’m so excited to see my friend E. and spend time with her this week. After E. meets me at the airport and we get our rental car, we grab lunch in Missoula. I get a veggie sandwich and a chai latte. After that, we drive an hour to the town we’re staying in. $15
4 p.m. — After arriving at the Airbnb, E. and I drive around and run some errands. A lot of places in town are cash-only, or have high card transaction fees, so I take out $80 from an ATM. There is a $3.50 fee.
6:30 p.m. — E. and I go to her friend’s place in town and E. makes risotto for all of us. We are surrounded by mountains and trees. I feel grateful to be surrounded by so much natural beauty. I am exhausted after this travel day and head to bed around 10 p.m.
Daily Total: $130.36
The Breakdown
Conclusion
“This was an interesting week to write a Money Diary since H. was in the middle of leaving to visit loved ones and I was heading to Montana. It was quite an in-between, transitional time for me, and I think I spent less than usual because I was preparing to spend a lot on my vacation (which was great! Montana is beautiful and a great place to hike. I spent a medium amount: We ate out for most of our meals, and I did a ton of thrifting, but also everything there is much cheaper. I was with my friend’s little brother who is 10, so we bought him some things, too). Overall, I do try to curb my impulse spending, especially on shopping, and was pretty proud of myself for the week I had.”
Money Diaries are meant to reflect an individual’s experience and do not necessarily reflect Refinery29’s point of view. Refinery29 in no way encourages illegal activity or harmful behavior.
The first step to getting your financial life in order is tracking what you spend — to try on your own, check out our guide to managing your money every day. For more Money Diaries, click here.
We’ve updated our Money Diaries submission process: You can now submit your Money Diary via our online form or by sending us a bit of information about you and your financial situation to moneydiary@refinery29.com. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we’re not able to reply to every email.
Prior to submitting your Money Diary, please read and consider Refinery29’s Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Submission of your Money Diary does not guarantee publication by Refinery29. Should your Money Diary be selected for publication, Refinery29 may, in its sole discretion, elect to pay you a fee, subject to such further terms and conditions as Refinery29 may deem necessary. Money Diaries that are not published are not entitled to receive any payment. Refinery29 will not remove Money Diaries once published. By submitting your Money Diary to Refinery29, you agree to abide and be bound by the applicable Terms of Use and Privacy Policy linked above. All submissions need to be original to the author (i.e., no AI contributions).
Have questions about how to submit or our publishing process? Read our Money Diaries FAQ doc here or email us here
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Living
Fall Wedding Guest Dresses You’ll Want To Wear Again (& Again)
“Wedding season” is often associated with summer, but the most popular months to say “I do” actually fall later in the year. Maybe it’s the foliage or the welcome relief from the heat, but fall weddings are definitely a thing. While the colorful leaves make […]
FASHION“Wedding season” is often associated with summer, but the most popular months to say “I do” actually fall later in the year. Maybe it’s the foliage or the welcome relief from the heat, but fall weddings are definitely a thing. While the colorful leaves make for stunning wedding photos, finding fall wedding guest dresses can be tricky. The goal: something elevated, seasonally appropriate, and comfortable enough to carry you through hours of celebrating (and dancing).
Ahead, we’ve rounded up 24 statement-making fall wedding guest dresses that work for dipping temperatures (think: maxi lengths, long sleeves, and rich fabrics) and every kind of venue. Expect autumnal florals, sweet puff sleeves, and slinky satin picks. Whether you need an elegant gown for a black-tie affair or are craving a trendy plus-size dress for a casual ceremony, your perfect look is just a click away.
All linked products are independently selected by our editors. If you purchase any of these products, we may earn a commission.
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Fall Black-Tie Wedding Guest Dresses
While floor-length gowns are a common go-to for black-tie weddings, luxe fabrications, intricate detailing, and statement design elements can make an ankle-grazing or slightly shorter silhouette just as fitting — especially if a floor-length style falls short on taller frames. This season, look for one-shoulder sleeves, dramatic draping, and voluminous mesh overlays to stand out from the crowd and land on the best-dressed list.
Adrianna Papell Plus Size One Shoulder Jacquard Dress, $, available at Adrianna Papell
Lulus Plisse One-Shoulder Maxi Dress
Lulus Plisse One-Shoulder Maxi Dress, $, available at Lulus
TFNC Plus Shoulder Scarf Neck Maxi Dress
Tfnc Plus Shoulder Scarf Neck Maxi Dress, $, available at ASOS
Staud Calluna Dress
Staud Calluna Dress, $, available at Shopbop
Pomander Place Black Marisol Dress
Pomander Place Black Marisol Dress, $, available at Tuckernuck
Petal & Pup Selma One-Shoulder Satin Gown
Petal & Pup Selma One-Shoulder Satin Gown, $, available at Nordstrom
Hutch Iris Off-the-Shoulder Floral Maxi Dress
Hutch Iris Off-the-Shoulder Floral Maxi Dress, $, available at Anthropologie
ASOS DESIGN Curve Cami Ruffle Detail Maxi Dress
ASOS DESIGN Curve Cami Ruffle Detail Maxi Dress, $, available at ASOS
Cocktail Wedding Guest Dresses
Cocktail attire hits that sweet spot between formal and casual, which is why it’s one of the most popular special-occasion dress codes. This opens up your options to plenty of silhouettes, fabrics, and embellishments. For the fall, try satin midi dresses, sleek slip dresses, or elevated minis, plus floral prints, lace trims, and scarf-like accents. These styles transition effortlessly from afternoon soirees to nighttime events with the right shoes and accessories.
Eloquii Plus Hardware Detail Cape Maxi Dress, $, available at Eloquii
Mare Mare Satin Scarf Mini Dress
Mare Mare Satin Scarf Mini Dress, $, available at Anthropologie
Reformation Plus Frankie Silk Dress
Reformation Plus Frankie Silk Dress, $, available at Reformation
ASTR The Label Pleated Drop Waist Dress
ASTR The Label Pleated Drop Waist Dress, $, available at Nordstrom
The Occasion by Old Navy Flutter-Sleeve Satin Maxi Dress
The Occasion by Old Navy Flutter-Sleeve Satin Maxi Dress, $, available at Old Navy
Abercrombie & Fitch High-Neck Crinkle Satin Maxi Dress
Abercrombie & Fitch High-Neck Crinkle Satin Maxi Dress, $, available at Abercrombie & Fitch
Free People Botanical Maxi Dress
Free People Botanical Maxi Dress, $, available at Free People
Gap Satin Lace-Trim V-Neck Maxi Slip Dress
Gap Satin Lace-Trim V-Neck Maxi Slip Dress, $, available at Gap
Fall Casual Wedding Guest Dresses
For casual weddings — especially daytime ceremonies or laid-back venues like restaurants or breweries — you can keep things relaxed without losing the festive touch. Think cotton poplins, plaid or polka dots, smocked bodices, frilled sleeves, and even a milkmaid dress that you can rewear for other occasions (yes, even to the office).
Quince 100% Organic Cotton Poplin Tiered Maxi Dress, $, available at Quince
Hill House Home The Gia Mini Nap Dress
Hill House Home The Gia Mini Nap Dress, $, available at Hill House Home
Zara Polka Dot Midi Dress with Belt
Zara Polka Dot Midi Dress with Belt, $, available at Zara
Coach Outlet Short Dress With Puff Sleeves In Organic Cotton
Coach Outlet Short Dress With Puff Sleeves In Organic Cotton, $, available at Coach Outlet
Damson Madder Hazel Long Sleeve Midi Dress
Damson Madder Hazel Long Sleeve Midi Dress, $, available at Damson Madder
Dôen Bijou Dress
Dôen Bijou Dress, $, available at Dôen
J.Crew Lace Slip Dress
J.Crew Lace Slip Dress, $, available at J.Crew
Free-est Dixie Maxi
free-est Dixie Maxi, $, available at Free People
Fall Black-Tie Wedding Guest Dresses
There’s really only one prerequisite for a dress to be appropriate for a black-tie wedding, and that’s simply that it’s floor-length. Luckily, there are tons of stunning floor-length gowns perfect for the cooler weather from Refinery29 reader-favorite retailers. Check out this trendy drop-waist dress from Free People, or scroll on to find gemstone-hued gowns from retailers like Nordstrom, Reformation, and more. Look out for interesting details like voluminous sleeves, drop waists, thigh-high slits, and matching scarves to stand out from the crowd and get you on the best-dressed list.
Shop Free People
Hutch The Ridge Dress, $, available at Free People
Lulus Satin Sleeveless Mock Neck Maxi Dress
Shop Lulus
Lulus Satin Sleeveless Mock Neck Maxi Dress, $, available at Lulus
Reformation Oren Silk Dress
Shop Reformation
Reformation Oren Silk Dress, $, available at Reformation
Ieena for Mac Duggal Pleated Long Sleeve Satin A-Line Gown
Shop Nordstrom
Ieena For Mac Duggal Pleated Long Sleeve Satin A-Line Gown, $, available at Nordstrom
Birdy Grey Shiny Satin Kira Dress
Shop Birdy Grey
Birdy Grey Shiny Satin Kira Dress, $, available at Birdy Grey
Fall Cocktail Wedding Guest Dresses
Cocktail attire is one of the most popular special-occasion dress codes, offering a balance between formal and casual style, and allowing you to effortlessly go from day to night. This opens up your options to more silhouettes, hemline lengths, fabrics, prints, and embellishments. For the fall, we recommend looking for tried-and-true midi dresses (but you can also seek more casual maxi dresses or more formal mini dresses). We’re personally eyeing midi cocktail dresses with skin-baring details like plunging necklines, statement cutouts, and dramatic slits.
Shop Petal & Pup
Petal & Pup Kleo One Shoulder Maxi Dress, $, available at Petal & Pup
Michael Costello Jake Gown
Shop Revolve
Michael Costello Jake Gown, $, available at Revolve
Abercrombie & Fitch Giselle Clasp-Back Pleated Midi Dress
Shop Abercrombie & Fitch
Abercrombie & Fitch Giselle Clasp-Back Pleated Midi Dress, $, available at Abercrombie & Fitch
Anthropologie Sleeveless Ruffled Maxi Dress
Shop Anthropologie
Anthropologie Sleeveless Ruffled Maxi Dress, $, available at Anthropologie
Zara Wrinkled Satin Effect Halter Dress
Shop Zara
Zara Wrinkled Satin Effect Halter Dress, $, available at Zara
Fall Casual Wedding Guest Dresses
If your upcoming fall weddings are on the casual end of the spectrum, you can likely pull a dress from your closet or find one at a non-astronomical price. For daytime nuptials or casual venues, like restaurants or breweries, reach for mini and midi dresses in unexpected fabrics like crepe de chine or poplin, and look out for playful details like stripes, puff sleeves, smocked bodices, and bows. Consider going for elevated tank dresses or milkmaid dresses that can be styled multiple ways for different celebrations (or even be worn to the office).
Shop Ann Taylor
Ann Taylor Striped Boatneck Flare Midi Dress, $, available at Ann Taylor
Elena Puff-Sleeve Dress
Shop J.Crew
J.Crew Elena Puff-sleeve Dress, $, available at J.Crew
H&M Jacquard-Weave Dress
Shop H&M
H&M Jacquard-Weave Dress, $, available at H&M
Moon River Bubble Sleeve Smocked Midi Dress
Shop Tuckernuck
Moon River Bubble Sleeve Smocked Midi Dress, $, available at Tuckernuck
Quince Washable Stretch Silk Tank Midi Dress
Shop Quince
Quince Washable Stretch Silk Tank Midi Dress, $, available at Quince
Fall Outdoor Wedding Guest Dresses
You may have attended a beach wedding this summer, but outdoor fall weddings could instead take place at backyard gardens, lakeside forests, refurbished barns, or rooftop bars. For those, you’ll want to consider carting up a wedding guest dress that has a high neckline, long sleeves, and/or a maxi skirt to account for the cooler weather. You can also look for bold prints like snakeskin and florals, or unexpected fabrics like heavier linens and knitted mesh. Then pair your look with trusty ballet flats or cowboy boots for the outdoor terrain, and comfortably dance the night away.
Shop Mango
Mango Snake Print Chiffon Dress, $, available at Mango
Sézane Leontina Dress
Shop Sézane
Sézane Leontina Dress, $, available at Sézane
Bardot Lucianna Maxi Wrap Dress
Shop Revolve
Bardot Lucianna Maxi Wrap Dress, $, available at Revolve
PrettyLittleThing Textured Mesh Scoop Back Flare Sleeve Maxi Dress
Shop PrettyLittleThing
PrettyLittleThing Textured Mesh Scoop Back Flare Sleeve Maxi Dress, $, available at PrettyLittleThing
Ganni Black Floral Minidress
Shop Ssense
Ganni Black Floral Minidress, $, available at SSENSE
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This Hair Mask Is So Good, I Forget I Haven’t Had A Trim In Months
I know exactly when my hair is overdue for a trim. As if inflated by an imaginary air pump, the ends puff up post-wash — made even more noticeable by my layers. It’s like a halo of frizz, except it’s not; it’s just my split […]
FASHION
I know exactly when my hair is overdue for a trim. As if inflated by an imaginary air pump, the ends puff up post-wash — made even more noticeable by my layers. It’s like a halo of frizz, except it’s not; it’s just my split ends begging for a chop. I know I’m not the only one with this hair conundrum. This summer, with relentless heatwaves and high humidity, “puffy hair” and “how to stop puffy hair” have been popular Google searches. But what if there were one product that could stop it from happening and give you more time between trims, helping you grow longer, stronger hair?
While there are plenty of quenching hair oils and split-end-smoothing leave-ins out there, nothing has made more of a difference to my puffy lengths than Color Wow’s Dreaming Advanced Repair and Resurfacing Treatment, $45.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ll probably know Color Wow’s hair care repertoire. Dream Coat, $28, is world-famous for a reason (frizz who?) and, in my opinion, the Texas Hold ‘Em Stronghold Hairspray, $30, is worth its weight in gold. But Dreaming is the latest addition to the growing collection — and it has replaced every single conditioner in my shower.
Color Wow Dreaming Advance Repair and Resurfacing Treatment, $45
As the name suggests, the aim is to repair and resurface hair. When it comes to hair masks, repairing is a given, but resurfacing? I’d only heard of this in the context of skincare, namely exfoliating acids like glycolic and lactic acid, which make skin smoother and brighter. While this mask doesn’t exfoliate your scalp or strands, it uses ingredients like moisturizing squalane, softening rice bran oil, protein-packed quinoa, and natural polymers, which form an undetectable film around hair strands. This protective layer smooths the cuticle — the surface layer of the hair strand — resulting in softer, shinier, more resilient hair — and less puffiness. Sure enough, several studies highlight the benefits of these ingredients — especially polymers — for smoothing, protecting, and conditioning hair. Besides these, the mask is packed with nourishing glycerin and panthenol (aka vitamin B5), which is known to improve elasticity and prevent breakage over time.
Texture-wise, Dreaming looks and feels like a body butter rather than a mask or a conditioner. Compared to the brand’s Money Masque, $45, (a hair-reviving mask I’ve got my friends and family hooked on), it’s much thicker — but don’t let that put you off. Just a small scoop is enough to coat all my hair (and I have a lot of it), giving a comfortable slip that lets me untangle knots as easily as a hot knife through butter. Because you need so little, rinsing it out after the recommended five minutes is easy. With masks, though, I’d suggest rinsing for an extra 30 seconds beyond what you’d do with conditioner, just to be sure it’s all gone.
I thought Money Masque was excellent for parched hair in need of a trim, but Dreaming is on another level. My hair feels ultra-soft — no, transformed — even as I’m rinsing it out in the shower, but the real magic happens once it’s dry.
Since my keratin treatment has worn off, it takes more passes with the straighteners to achieve the once-effortless sleekness I used to get after a quick rough-dry. Using this mask is the next best thing to a glassy finish — and a snip of the price of a professional hair service. When I use it, the puffiness disappears, yet my hair doesn’t feel greasy, weighed down, or look stringy. While split ends can’t actually be repaired (only chopping them off gets rid), I’m convinced the shine helps disguise their usual dry appearance, too.
As for its humidity-shielding promises? The ultimate test was a hot, humid day in London, where even a minute outside can conjure frizz, but my hair stayed almost flyaway-free, with only the slightest drop in my waves.
You might be wondering what sets Dreaming apart from Dream Coat. Aside from the texture — and that this one’s meant to be used in the shower — it works in pretty much the same way: Simply apply it every two to three shampoos (Dream Coat is every three to four). You might also be curious whether it’s packed with silicones. While I don’t think silicones are the enemy (in fact, I believe they can make hair look and feel its absolute best), this treatment is silicone-free, with the aforementioned natural polymers doing all the heavy lifting (or smoothing).
At $45, Color Wow’s Dreaming Advanced Repair and Resurfacing Treatment Mask isn’t cheap, but in my experience, a little goes a long way. If you really want to get your money’s worth, try it as a post-styling hair cream. It’s thick enough to smooth flyaways and frizz, but light enough to avoid making your roots look oily. While it’s not intended for this use (it’s meant for wet hair), I can confidently say that it works a treat. So much so, I’ve already got my hands on a second tub.
This story was originally published on Refinery29 UK.
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EcoTech
Drop Everything — Reformation’s Summer Sale Is Here
Back-to-school season is nigh, but nothing brightens the end of the summer like a major discount from one of our favorite brands, especially when said brand only occasionally holds sales. We’re of course talking about Reformation — our go-to destination for modern, sustainably-sourced styles, top-quality denim, […]
FASHION
Back-to-school season is nigh, but nothing brightens the end of the summer like a major discount from one of our favorite brands, especially when said brand only occasionally holds sales. We’re of course talking about Reformation — our go-to destination for modern, sustainably-sourced styles, top-quality denim, enviable wedding guest looks, linen basics, trendy plus-sized pieces, and more. (And we’re not alone — Ref has an impressive celebrity fanbase. Most recently, we’ve seen Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Zendaya, and Nicola Coughlan donning the brand.)
Whether you’re shopping for a late-summer getaway or looking ahead to fall, you’ll find plenty to add to your cart. The sale kicks off today with up to 30% off hundreds of styles and runs for a limited time only (or while supplies last). We recommend having your credit cards at the ready if you want to snag some of the best deals. Read on for our top picks.
Reformation Summer Sale: Dresses
Still looking to add a new dress to your wardrobe? You’re in luck — the Reformation sale is chock-full of options. Honestly, the choices are staggering, from lightweight linen minis and flowy maxis for last-minute getaways or destination weddings to slinky slips for date nights and versatile milkmaid styles for transitional dressing.
Reformation Summer Sale: Denim
If there’s one thing that Reformation has perfected, it’s denim. From your classic baby-blue jeans to the trend-forward styles (think relaxed jorts, corset tops, and slim-fit midi dresses), you’ll find them all at the Reformation end-of-summer sale.
Reformation Summer Sale: Plus Size
ICYMI, Reformation is one of the top destinations for chic, well-cut plus-size fashion. We’re very excited to see so many incredible pieces make it to the sale.
Reformation Summer Sale: Petite Size
Calling all our 5’3″ and under friends — Reformation also has you covered with specially tailored petite designs, many of which are also discounted right now.
Reformation Summer Sale: Tops & Sweaters
What better time to upgrade your transitional and early-fall wardrobe than with a standout top or cozy new knit? (Or two, or three, or four, or… The world is your Reformation-sale-shaped oyster!)
Reformation Summer Sale: Matching Sets
When in doubt, let a matching set do all the heavy fashion lifting for you. Reformation is well known for its stunning selection, including easy, breezy linen numbers, office-ready vest-and-pants combinations, and versatile skirt co-ords that can be dressed up or down.
Reformation Summer Sale: Coats & Jackets
It might feel strange to think about the colder months amid hot, humid August, but they’ll be here before you know it. Now’s the time to save on a gorgeous new coat or jacket in preparation.
Reformation Summer Sale: Shoes & Handbags
We’re also on the verge of statement accessory season. Come fall and winter, you’ll be able to show off your favorites from the sale while bundling up — we’re talking croc-textured knee-high boots, slouchy suede totes, and leopard print.
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how-&-buy
